Best Experience

     “High school life is the best part of being a teenager,” my parents always say. But since I chose to study in CavSci, they told me that it would be difficult and stressful. Of course I did not believe. I thought they’re just exaggerating, so I still studied in CavSci. Realization came when I was in first year. It was really stressful because of projects, home works and quizzes. My parents were right. High school life in CavSci isn’t that easy and best. But still, I continued. I’ve chosen this life, so I’ll face it.

     Now that I’m already in third year, I realized that high school life in CavSci could be the best. Before I enter this school, the word “best” for me is happiness, fun, relaxing and free from anything.  I understood that for my parents, “best” means productive, excellence and achievement. It’s like you’re not only good in your social life in high school, but also in academics. This high school life was really the best, especially in English.

I know some of the students find the English subject boring and full of reading reports. I’m one of those students. I become lazy and sleepy during English time since elementary. But this third year, it definitely changed. Yes, there are still reading reports, but English time became more exciting. One best reason to love our English subject is our improved informal theme. My handwriting sucks, so I hate writing in informal theme notebooks, especially when it needs to be in cursive. Instead of writing our informal themes in notebooks, we had our blog. It doesn’t require handwriting. It’s easy to type than to write. Blogs given to us are not boring. It’s about our life, experiences, feelings and things we want to say. I’ve always wanted to make a blog where I can tell my emotions, but I don’t have enough time. Through our blogs, I am not only expressing my emotions. I am also doing my projects. I know I’m not good in blogs, but it makes me feel comfortable. Another reason is our speech activity. We are able to come up with ideas on how to make our performance more interesting and catchy. Our jazz chant, speech choir, conventional speech choir were really the best experience I had since first year. I need to concentrate and to participate well for our performance to be good. It challenged us. The Romeo and Juliet excerpts were also the best. It’s a great experience because we were able to show the scenes based on our understandings. These are the main experiences which made high school life the best.

     Most of all, there is a person who taught us more than what we should learn and know. She gave us the chance to experience the third year life we deserve. When it’s already 4:00 pm, ma’am Mae is already at the door. She’s seldom late in our class and I can see that she’s hardworking. English time is not only about the lessons in English. It’s also time for life lessons. She shares her stories and gives us advices. It’s like a time for realizations. This third year, the first time I cried was in our English time. It’s a topic about family thingy. The things she tells us are not only for the brain, but also for the heart. In our English time, I have to be real, mentally and emotionally prepared. That experience ma’am Mae shared to us defined the word BEST.

     Third year life in Cavsci may really be the most difficult part of high school. But still, this third year life taught me so many things, granted me memorable memories and gave me unforgettable experiences. I think high school is not just about having fun. It’s about having fun while learning and experiencing new things.

Inappreciable

Dear Nanay Mami,

     You know that I haven't become a better granddaughter. We both know how wrong I've become. You are the only person who has been there since I was a child. You know me better than anyone. I am definitely lucky to have you. But instead of repaying you, I did mischievous things.

     There were times when I do not listen to you and your advices. Sometimes, I also disobey you. Doing those things made you feel worse than ever and it made me feel worst. It makes me unworthy of your love. You are the only person who sees the real me, yet I did not give importance with what you feel with the things I do and words I say. I have failed you with my deeds and I am very sorry for that.

     Here I am, sincerely apologizing for everything. I apologize for every single deed I've done and word I've said. They caused you too much pain. I know I won't be able to take away the pain, but I hope my apology can lessen it. I really hope I can. I know I am not worthy of your forgiveness, but I'll still try. I am asking for forgiveness from you because I want you to be free from pain. I am doing this because it hurts me so much to see you sad and with pain. I am doing it because I love you and I do not want to see you hurt anymore. Especially by me.

     You are by my side in all the challenges and problems I face in life. You are my strength and courage. You are so important to me. It's hard to find someone who'll still be there despite of all the hurt and pain you have caused her. Fortunately, I have that someone. I have you. That's why I want to ask for your forgiveness. I want to live a happy life with you once again. I do understand if you do not accept my apology. At least I was able to let you know how sorry I am for everything I've done. I love you very much.

                                                                                                                                                    Love,
                                                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                      Not-so-nice Granddaughter

Special by Heart and Deeds

          This was the first time I asked myself about what makes me special, IF I am really special. It's not right to ask my brain because it would definitely say yes. I am a normal person, born from my normal parents and lives a normal life. So if I am going to answer that question, it would be a no. There's nothing special about me. But if God believes that all of us are special, I should also believe. He knows things better than I do. I know he has enough reasons to say that we're special. Maybe it's not just about who I am. Maybe it's also about what I do that makes me special.

          It isn't, for me. Let's say I show who I am and do what I want. But sometimes, I show not-so-good traits and attitudes. I do harsh things. That would not definitely  be the reason of God for believing I am special. Being special is being yourself and doing right things from your heart.

          I am not a very, very kind person who will do all the good things in life just to be special. I want to do what St. Therese did. She is a saint, many people admire her. Many people consider her special. But what makes me amazed the most are her ways on how to be special. She had her own little ways to do right things for herself and for others. I am not a saint, but I know I've done right things in my own little ways.

          It's not that I do good things to be special. It's just that I am special because I show who I am and do kind things in my own ways. I do not need to do what others say in order to be special. I won't change myself for others to appreciate me. I'll stay the same as long as I do things the right way because I know that God appreciate s me for who I am and what I do.

"If you want to be special, be true. If you want to be true, be yourself. If you want to be yourself, do the right things."

Letter from A Never-enough Daughter

Dear Lord Jesus,

     You are the creator of this world where I belong. You are also the one who gave us, humans, all our needs. Here I am, adoring you for giving me things and blessings beyond what I need. Of all the blessings I have received from you, there are some that I value the most. There are some that I would definitely ask for from you, some that I cannot live without. You know that I am not worthy enough to have them, but you gave them to me. I am grateful enough to have them as my parents and I want to thank you for that.
 
      I know it may be rude for me to ask things from you, but I won't think twice. We both know how much I love my parents. We both know how much I care for them, but I cannot express it. These are the reasons behind my courage in writing this letter for you. I love and care for them so much, though they cannot notice it. I ask, request, pray and wish all the best for my parents. I ask you to give them the healthiest life they can have. I request for them to stay loving and caring. I pray for them to continue guiding us despite of our rough attitudes. Lastly, I wish that they could have a long and happy life with me and my brother. These things may seem too much for others, but they aren't enough for me. My parents gave this life to me, opened my eyes, protects me and continues to guide me in this life. All the things I do to repay their deeds won't be enough and will never be.


      My parents and I haven't lived together for a long time, but I know that they do care. They may not be always by my side, but I know that they wish they were. Just like them, I feel the same. I want them to know that I care for them and how I wish I'm always with them. I don't want them to feel worst at times when they think that I don't appreciate the things they do for me and give me because I do, I always do. They may not see it, but I feel very thankful for everything my parents are giving me.

      Thank you for my father a.k.a. Best Bagets Daddy Ever. Please continue in giving him strength in his work. Guide him in all the challenges he is facing and help him be the same best daddy I've known. Protect him from all the dangers he may face along the way. Most of all, please give him the courage to stop smoking. All I want for him is to stay healthy and stay the best daddy for us.


       I also want to thank you for my mother. She may be easily mad sometimes, I know that she still cares. She may always give sermons, but she only does it for my own good. Just like my father, continue to guide her in everything she does. Give her enough strength in her work and help her stay the same mother I've loved all these years, Lastly, grant her a healthy and longer life.

      Without my parents, I would be nothing. I will never be who I am without my parents.They're the reason why I'm existing and why I should. They're the reason behind my courage to face each day and the strength to overcome the challenges coming in my way. There's nothing more I could ask for in this life, but to have them at times when I need an advice of a mother, strength of a father and love of both. It is definitely amazing to have such wonderful parents. Thank you, Jesus Christ.

Love,
A Never Enough Daughter

Best Daughter Ever

     People often say that life is too short to wake up each morning with regrets. They say that we should forget all the wrong deeds we’ve done before and move on. Those things which feels like perfect were what most of us will choose. No one would want to live in the present, regretting the wrong decisions in the past. No one would prefer to dream of the future, regretting the unacceptable deeds in the past. It’s just always about to move on, or not to move on.  All people want is to live the present and dream of the future harmoniously, without regretting the past deeds and bitter decisions. But oftentimes, it’s hard for us not to regret.

     No matter how much we try not to regret of our past, we cannot still defeat it. The regrets won’t just leave us no matter what. They are part of our lives. There will always be a time when regret will knock on our door, bringing back the harsh memories of the past. Each of us has our own regrets that we just want to leave behind. It just means that what people say about knocking down our regrets is not that easy and will never be. Trying not to regret is breathing. It’s inevitable for us.

      I, myself, also have regrets in my life. But of all those regrets, there’s the most regretful decision that bothered me every second of my life. This decision was not mainly what I decided. I was too young back then to decide on my own, so my parents decided for me. They thought that their decision was the best for me. They thought of it like they were really sure. My parents chose to let my grandma take care of me while they are working. My grandma took care of me, gave me all her love and treated me like I was her own daughter. My life was a fairy tale back then.

      When I grew older and had the chance to decide on my own, my parents asked me if I want to live with them and study high school in Manila, leaving my grandma. It was bittersweet. I felt happy because I will be able to have them, but there was also something inside me that wants to pull back. I love my grandma. I treated her like my own mom and I would never want to leave her. I already love the place where I grew up, so I rejected my parents. I decided that I will live with them when I’m in college. I know that it brought so much pain to my parents, but I didn't even thought of it. I disappointed them. I felt like I was the best daughter in the world.

      Months passed peacefully, not until my second year in high school. My uncle and I had a fight. This was the start of nightmares during daytime. Our peaceful house became restless. A time came when he scared the hell out of me. I was carrying my dinner one night going upstairs. He’s in a bad mood and we got in a fight. The next thing I know was I ran upstairs, seeing him behind me. He has a mop ready to hit me. I went in a room and locked myself. I was shaking, sobbing and scared. That’s when regret occupied my mind. I shouldn’t have been here. I should have chosen to live with my parents. Since then, peacefulness left our house. At once it was happy, we shared moments together, then it became a war. My mom and my uncle, her sibling, also had a fight. Their other siblings became worried. It was like the sky had fallen on me. One of my mom’s siblings blamed me. It made me regret my choice even more. If I weren’t in this house, then they will still be happy, my grandma would still be glad, I would still be fine and my parents would not be disappointed with me. I hate myself for doing this damage, but I cannot do anything. I want to leave, but I still need to wait for one more year so I can go to college.

     If I could go back to the past and change my decision, I would definitely do it. I regret my choice every second I see my grandma sad because of what happened to us. I regret my choice every second I remember what I did. I regret my choice every time I remember that it was my fault. I regret it every time I realize that I changed this home into a house. This decision is the most regretful thing I made in the past.

     Despite of having these regrets, we should face each joyful morning with a smile. We should focus on not regretting again, instead of being worried about the past. Each of us should consider the possible outcomes of the things we do. We should think first before doing it. it does not mean that our mind should always be the first thing to follow. It’s just better to follow our mind in deciding for our best as well as for others. We should not let regret scare us. Forget the past no matter how impossible it is and remember what it taught you because experience is the greatest teacher in life.