The Peculiar Letter

Ganito Ka Rin Ba Mag-ENGLISH?

(To whoever gets to understand this letter, CONGRATULATIONS!)

The following is a letter found at a certain bar in Manila and has been preserved in its original, unedited form. Enjoy reading and you may try direct translation in Tagalog. Pls. read with feelings . . .
Original Version:

October 1996
To Marije,
I am not surprise of wander why Dennis leave you why? What reason can you think about but you're very fat body. I thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner and later I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand your habit of making pakielam all his walks (lakad) and always calling to their house what he go home or this or that.

And then he say he get ashame to me either in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you're very very, very fat body. But you hate it. Thought you're the most preetiest girl he knows about. What do you think you are "BeautifulGirl" of Jose Marie Chan?

Even you are beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else difference name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names either in the front of Dennis or in the back of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don't have any other choice but to call you other different name to. Like you are a PIG, FAT, OBSESSED, OVERWEIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to your body that is to a building.

You can't not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier that you when you look to us in the mirror. I'm repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl. 

Love, the sexiest Girl of D.M.

P.S.
You say that I'm the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed. Me or you? And the final is me. There you go.
Reaction:

The letter was slightly hard to understand, but I enjoyed reading it. I understood that the girl wrote a letter to his boy friend's ex-girl friend, Marije. She insulted her and said some things about the past relationship of Dennis and Marije. I found it humorous, but it caused my headache. I need to re-read it before I can totally understand the writer's thought.

I felt bad for the writer of the letter, but I am also thankful to her for the realization I made. It is definitely important to have a correct grammar in letters, essays, or other compositions. It is also important for us to learn and practice the correct use of English Language.

I found the revising part difficult, especially the first paragraph of the letter. I also had difficulties in some parts, but I was able to find the words that would fit in the thought.

Revised Version:

October 1996
To Marije,

I am not surprised or even wondered why Dennis left you, why? There is no other reason I can think of but your very fat body.I thought that Dennis only used me as his toy before, but I realized that he can't bear to be with you because at first, Dennis said  he could not stand your habit of interrupting his appointments and your habit of calling to their house if he already arrived.

He said that he's ashamed of you in his school and family. He asked you to exercise, but you hate it. You think you're the prettiest girl he knows? Do you think you are the "Beautiful Girl" of Jose Mari Chan?

Even though you are beautiful (just like what you're thinking), you don't have the right to call me any other name anytime for you to insult my personality because I never called you in different names in front or at the back of Dennis. If you already started calling me in different names, I don't have any choice but to call you in different names too like PIG, FAT, OBSESSED, OVERWEIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPED GIRL. Shame to your fat body which is like a building.

You can't blame Dennis for choosing me over you because I am sexier than you even if we look at the mirror. I'll repeat that you are like a girl version of Ike Lozada.

Love,The Sexiest Girl of D.M.

P.S.You said that I have a bad breath, but who does Dennis want to kiss? You or me? Obviously, it's me. There you go.